“Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them!” (Psalm 127:4b-5a)
Choosing to follow God’s call to the mission field brings a variety of challenges: raising financial support, learning a different language, and adapting to a new culture. But one of the hardest challenges, rarely spoken about, sneaks up slowly and involves a much greater sacrifice—the heart-wrenching act of launching a child into life and college, often an ocean away.
There are a plethora of emotions that come when it’s time for parents to launch their missionary kid into life on the other side of the world.
On one hand, my husband and I have experienced immense joy: “We’ve done it! We’ve successfully raised and educated a child overseas. He has chosen to follow Jesus, learned two languages, made friends with people from all over the world, and had amazing cross-cultural experiences. He is ready for the next steps of college, a career, and a life of independence from us.”
But on the other hand, we have also felt deep loss: “He’s leaving for the other side of the world. It’s time to say goodbye to the precious gift we’ve raised for 18 years.”
A Different Kind of Goodbye
For parents living in the US, college goodbyes are often softened by the knowledge that Thanksgiving, long weekends, or summer breaks will soon bring their children home.
For many missionary parents, the reality is different.
Our son won’t come home for the weeklong fall and spring breaks this school year. Summer won’t bring him back either. He’ll need to work a summer job, and he can’t legally do that as a foreigner in our host country. We know we’ll see our son on video calls and communicate via emails and texts, but the days we’ll get to hug him in the coming years will be extremely limited.
During this season of launching, missionaries may choose to return to the US. While many relocate in order to best care for the unique needs of their family members, others return to their home country because separation seems too hard. The heart-wrenching challenge of living far apart from their children and missing birthdays, holidays, and life milestones can feel too great.
Staying Faithful
During this painful season of launching a child, there are two key truths that missionaries can remember.
1. Our Calling
When God first called us to serve as a light to the nations, our hearts were stirred with a passion that led us to give up the comfort of living in proximity to our families and friends and move overseas.
At the same time, we acknowledge our Scriptural responsibility to love and care for our family members.
If, during the season of launching our children into college or adult life, we consider following them back to our home countries, let us carefully seek God’s direction. The same God who asked us to give it all up to reach the nations may still be calling us to sacrifice to spread the gospel. We can take comfort in knowing that Jesus is worth everything—even the sacrifice of living on the other side of the world from the children we love so dearly.
2. Children Are Arrows
Psalm 127:4-5 reminds us that children are like arrows. What is the purpose of an arrow? To stay in the quiver? Of course not! Its purpose is to fly, to go far, and to hit its mark.
The same is true for our children. Part of faithful parenting is being willing to launch our children far away from us to follow God’s call on their life, while we follow ours. God’s call for some may be to remain in—or return to—the same location as their parents, but his plan for others may take them to the other side of the world. Parents must be willing to let their arrows soar far if that’s where God calls them.
Supporting Missionary Families
If you are a missionary parent launching a child soon, pray that you’ll remain firm in your calling to serve God where he called you. Remind yourself that your children were raised to be arrows for God’s purposes.
If you are a friend of missionary parents in the season of launching a child, pray for them. Check in on them. Listen when they need to share their heartache. This season is hard and difficult to understand if you have never launched a child to another country—and your friends need empathy, prayer, and presence.
The Joy in Sacrifice
Launching our missionary kid arrows is undeniably hard. But there is no greater joy than knowing, as we stand firmly where God has placed us, that our arrows are soaring toward where God is placing them.
God loves our children—and us—far more than we can imagine, and he will comfort and sustain us both, no matter how far apart we are.
Editor’s Note: This article reflects the views of the author and is not intended to indicate a position of ABWE.
