I recently saw a clip on social media of a friendly, calm, seemingly mild-mannered pastor preaching a sermon not long after the murder of Charlie Kirk. He made the striking comment that if there had been more “gospel sensitivity” before the barbaric killing, violence could have been averted.
This raises an important question. What is gospel sensitivity? What would the Apostle Paul—stoned, beaten, shipwrecked (2 Corinthians 11:24–28), and ultimately beheaded for his witness—make of this novel term?
The implication was clear: if Kirk had been nicer, more winsome, or less argumentative (which is what I assume “gospel sensitivity” entails), he might still be alive today.
This clip was the perfect illustration of the bane upon the American church: soft men.
What Jesus Said About Soft Men
From a biblical standpoint, to call a man “soft” is a serious charge, but not inherently inappropriate. Jesus himself contrasted John the Baptist with “those who wear soft clothing” and live “in kings’ houses” (Matthew 11:8). The point was plain: true prophets are forged in the wilderness, not in the comforts of palaces. Softness belongs to luxury, ease, and compromise—not to the cruciform life of Christ’s disciple.
Men who are weak in character, undisciplined, passive, effeminate, susceptible to emotional manipulation, and whose only strategies in relationships are empathy and compassion without confrontation or boldness are overrepresented in positions of influence in the American church. You even see them pastoring churches, steering committees, influencing denominations, and being sent out to the mission field.
The Roots of Softness
Many factors explain this phenomenon. One could argue that the institutional nature of American Christianity creates a feedback loop in which leaders who do not challenge the status quo and who prioritize empathy over reform are rewarded by bureaucracies that handle credentialing and funding. But the deeper root is a misunderstanding of Scripture.
Many of these leaders hold the conviction that contextualization is not only important but is the core, driving principle of all ministry. This approach delights in Paul’s claim to be “all things to all people” (1 Corinthians 9:22) but neglects that elsewhere Paul declares the gospel is “foolishness” to the world (1 Corinthians 1:18), and that only God, in his sovereignty, opens blind eyes to see its glory (2 Corinthians 4:4–6).
When sensitivity is made ultimate, with no limiting principle, the result is not only the softening of the man but the softening of the message. The Word of God, sharper than any two-edged sword (Hebrews 4:12), is effectively blunted.
Hard Men, Not Harsh Men
The mission field is no place for soft men. But the alternative to softness is not brashness, bravado, or macho posturing. It is not to be off-putting, aloof, or harsh.
The alternative is to model our Lord Jesus Christ, who “set his face like flint” toward the cross (Isaiah 50:7). We too should be marked by steely resolve pointed headfirst at the mission laid before us by our God. It is to have, as a friend once said, not only steel spines but also cool heads and warm hearts.
The Missionary Spirit
Even if your calling is in your community, workplace, or local church, we can learn from our brothers laboring among the nations.
I do not subscribe to the “everyone is a missionary” cliché. As my friend E.D. Burns explains, biblically, a missionary is a commissioned emissary of a local church tasked with advancing the gospel abroad. Yet the broader missionary ethos is one the whole church should embrace.
True missions is not mere tourism or self-discovery. At its root, it is death to self and a robust commitment to the will of Christ that rebukes our modern sloth.
If we were to fellowship with titans of faith like Hudson Taylor, William Carey, and Adoniram Judson, we would find them to be hard men. Not hard as in cruel or rude, but hard in terms of their immense resolve. They were broken, humble, and dependent on their Savior—yet their perseverance, resilience, and callouses, both physical and spiritual, were unmistakable. This sort of masculine strength was once assumed necessary to discharge the missionary task. Increasingly, many are rediscovering its importance.
This missionary spirit goes forth not merely to adapt with sensitivity, but to conquer by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony (Revelation 12:11). It lays down its life willingly, but in that very weakness is made strong (2 Corinthians 12:9–10).
The Call
What if we approached our offices, elders’ and deacons’ meetings, and suburban congregations with the same spirit that missionaries once brought to untamed jungles, arid deserts, and spiritually dark frontiers? What if we steeled ourselves, stirred our resolve, and entered each ordinary moment of ministry not as soft men eager to appease but as men armored with God’s Word, prepared to grapple with opposition?
Make no mistake: to reach the unreached we need hard men—able to pioneer gospel work in hostile places and to rule well in the church. We need godly women serving alongside them with all their gifts and strength. But we need the same kind of firmness in our pulpits, campuses, and congregational meetings.
We must dispense with the idea that we can be “nicer than God” and thereby win those offended by truth. To take the gospel to the ends of the earth, we do not need softness. We need courage, conviction, and resolve. We need men and women who are humble, godly, and willing to suffer for Christ’s sake.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (1 Corinthians 16:13).
