Most of the friendships that we have in life come about predictably.
Friends are often our neighbors or co-workers. We attend the same school or church. We share the same hobbies and interests. They are usually in a similar stage of life and come from a similar cultural background. This is natural, and God often allows us to especially connect on a deeper level with such people.
Friendship From God’s Perspective
Does God have friends? If so, does he choose his friends the same way we do? A few men are specifically said to have been friends of God, namely Moses (Exodus 33:11), Job (Job 29:4), and Abraham (Isaiah 41:8, James 2:23). Did he select them as his friends because they are especially like him? Based on what we know about the character of God and the character of these (and all) men, no one is like God, even if these men did show themselves to be godly.
What about Jesus? Jesus identified his apostles as his friends (John 15:13-15) and even addressed large crowds as friends (Luke 12:1, 4). Did Jesus only choose friends who were his equals? Again, the answer is obvious. Christ is without equal. While it is possible (and commanded) that we practice Christlikeness, and Christ made himself like us in his incarnation, he certainly developed friendships with those who are not like him.
Friendship in the Bible
The Bible speaks to both the possibility of friendship with God and the goodness of friendship with one another—even with others who are not like us.
The Book of Judges provides insight into friendship with God. In Judges 4, the Lord allowed his people to win a great victory over the Canaanites through the guidance of Deborah and Barak (and the hammer of Jael). In Judges 5, Deborah and Barak led the people in a song of praise to God for their triumph. That song ends with this line: “So may all your enemies perish, O LORD! But your friends be like the sun as he rises in his might” (5:31). God has enemies and friends. Those who are his enemies will perish. Those who are his friends will flourish. Thus, friendship with God is not only possible but vitally important.
1 Samuel 18-20 details what is probably the Bible’s most famous friendship: David and Jonathan. Theirs was a covenant relationship, a love in which their souls were knit together (18:1-5, 20:12-17). This is significant both on a relational level and a theological level. Their personal relationship displays the closeness of two individuals who were committed to the Lord and to his work. This shared foundation for their friendship and their loyalty to one another allowed them to remain close despite their differences in position. Jonathan demonstrated his commitment to David not only as his friend but as the true king of Israel, the one anointed to rule on the throne over God’s chosen people.
That theme of friendship with Israel’s king is continued in 1 Samuel 30, which describes David’s pursuit and defeat of the Amalekites who had raided the land and captured its women and children. After the battle had been won, David “sent part of the spoil to his friends, the elders of Judah, saying, ‘Here is a present for you from the spoil of the enemies of the LORD.’” David had friends among his subjects. He as king won the victory, and those who belonged to him were rescued from the hand of the enemy. Those in the land reaped the benefits of their friendship with the king, who overthrew those who opposed him.
Friendship With Jesus
Jesus too had friends we may consider unlikely. Of the many accusations leveled against him, one of them had to do with his friendships. Jesus said to his critics in Luke 7:33-34, “John the Baptist has come eating no bread and drinking no wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’”
In saying this about him, Jesus’ critics were right. He was a friend of sinners. If we think we deserve friendship with Jesus, we are mistaken. Jesus loved those who were beneath him and different from him. If Jesus only loved those who were already like him, we would have no hope. Friendship with God is the benefit of salvation, of which none of us is worthy.
Friendship and Missions
In befriending sinners, Jesus did for us what we can’t do for ourselves—providing for our salvation—but he is also setting an example for us. If Jesus did not ignore those who were less fortunate, far from him, and different than him, then neither should we. Being involved in missions allows us to practice Christlikeness as we extend friendship to others who are very different from us. Just as Jesus came to people who were far from him, so does he often send his people to those who are both physically and spiritually far from us.
Jesus’ example also equips us to serve alongside Christian friends as we are sent together. Developing partnerships and friendships across cultural borders allows us to learn from, strategize with, and encourage brothers and sisters from a variety of backgrounds and languages.
The New Testament example shows “goers” often being sent in pairs or groups rather than as individuals. Gospel friendships strengthen gospel outreach. Missions teams are typically more effective than missions individuals. And the most effective missions teams are characterized by strong Christian friendship among their members.
Praise God for good friends. Praise God for local churches in which gospel friendships can be established and edified. Praise God for the gift of Christian fellowship that makes our task of disciple-making a joyous endeavor alongside such friends from around the globe, with whom we gladly give our lives for his global glory. And praise God for Jesus, the friend of sinners, who makes it possible that even the chief of sinners can experience friendship with God.
