I’ll never forget the day our plane landed in North Africa.
At the time, the country was under a military-enforced curfew, and everyone had to be in their homes by 7:00 p.m. We landed in the middle of the night and in the middle of the imposed lockdown. My husband and I were 22 at the time. It was our first move overseas, and we didn’t know one word of the local language. We were exhausted from travel and from tearful goodbyes with our family at the airport. Yet here we were in the dead of night in a van headed to our new home. In our state of delirium, I remember being pulled over, doors flung open, and looking up to rifles in our faces by the police officers looking for our documentation. We had been in the country for 30 minutes, and we were already eager to turn back around and fly home. The details of that night are unforgettably etched in our memories, but what sticks out to me the most is surprisingly not the guns pointed in our faces or the fires of protest blazing along the roads. The most profound memory of that experience was the two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches clutched in our hands.
We definitely did not have an appetite after 36 hours of airplane food, but our new team leader met us at the airport with sandwiches in hand. His wife had made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and stocked our kitchen with things that would be “familiar” to us when we arrived. She had scrubbed our floors to get one layer of African dust off. She had washed a set of sheets and had freshly made our bed so we could easily collapse into bed after two days of travel.
Our life in North Africa didn’t necessarily get easier from there. But when the people around you are anticipating needs you didn’t know you had, you grow in your sustainability and resilience to walk through those hard situations.
This is the gift of being on a team in cross-cultural work.
Team relationships in an overseas context are unlike any other I have experienced. It is impossible to truly define them. You take on the roles of friends, coworkers, church members, and family members. You fill multiple roles in one another’s lives. In a Stateside context, these roles are typically spread across hundreds of people. On an overseas team, three or four people play all of these necessary roles. This dynamic creates a great deal of pressure on a small group of people. But it also presents a tremendous opportunity to live in deep community when we approach it the way God intends.
The Supplier of Your Soul
“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens—Jesus the Son of God—let us hold fast to our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has been tempted in every way as we are, yet without sin. Therefore, let us approach the throne of grace with boldness, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14–16)
When we think about teamwork from the perspective of Scripture, many passages may come to mind. The above passage in Hebrews stands out as particularly appropriate in regard to teaming according to biblical design. These verses have been foundational as I have navigated team relationships, whether in conflict or in harmony, whether as a team member or a team leader.
It’s easy to feel isolated while living overseas, even on a team. You are living thousands of miles away from home. You are on a different continent and living in an unfamiliar language. You become aware of needs and feelings that you have never had before. Overseas life has a way of leaving our hearts naked and exposed. Without even realizing it, we can begin to think our situation is unique and no one understands us. We can easily project these aches in our own hearts onto our team and think, “It must be their fault I feel this way.”
Your team will fail you at some point. Your team will disappoint you. Your team will not meet certain expectations or needs that you have. But Christ—our Advocate, our High Priest— understands. He can sympathize in every way, and we can draw near to him. We receive grace from Christ in our time of need. Even when our teams let us down, Christ is supplying our heart’s deepest needs. I have seen this truth become foundational for healthy relationships on our teams. And I have found it to be true whether one is leading or following.
Healthy team relationships always stem from individuals abiding in and drawing on their relationship with the Lord. When we daily (and some days, hourly) approach the throne of grace, we find Jesus ready to sympathize with all of our weaknesses and shortcomings. This then frees us not to look to what our teams are or are not providing us, but to the only One who can truly supply the needs of our soul. When we believe that Christ can sympathize in every way, we begin to experience a hope and security in our hearts. When we experience Jesus’s grace and mercy for ourselves, we can then extend it to our team.
Because Christ deals gently with us, we can deal gently with our teammates. This is essential for our ministry overseas and for healthy team dynamics. We can’t offer others what we don’t first possess in our hearts. If we are insecure, we will look to our teammates for security. If we are discontent in our hearts, we will begin, sometimes unknowingly, to project that onto our team. We will never be perfect or have perfect teammates. It’s imperative that we do the heart work before the Lord, daily reminding our hearts that he understands and he sympathizes with us. He asks us to draw near, and he alone brings rest to our souls. He pours grace over us, so that we can pour grace into our teams. He extends mercy to our wayward hearts, so we can turn our eyes away from ourselves and fix our eyes on him.
Only when we are looking to the Lord alone to meet our deepest needs will we be able to remove that expectation from the shoulders of those around us. Only when we are looking to the Lord alone to meet our deepest needs will we be able to serve, love, and enjoy our teammates. Only then can we serve and love the people we are ministering to. Jesus is our advocate. He understands fully. He sympathizes in every way with us. Let us draw these gifts from Christ and let us be these to one another on our teams. As Christ has been to us, may we be to one another—both for the longevity of the work we want to see God accomplish and for the glory of God. May God look at our team relationships and receive glory. May our local friends look at our team relationships and see the steadfast love of the Lord.
Editor’s Note: This article is an excerpt from Before You Go (For Women): Wisdom from Ten Women Who Served Internationally, edited by Emily Bennett (Brentwood: B&H, 2023). Used with permission.