Demystifying the Order of Love

Can we be biblical in how we order our affections?

How does Scripture order our affections?

In this episode, Alex and Scott unpack the historic Christian concept of the ordo amoris—the order of love—and why it matters for missions today. Drawing from Alex’s new book Ordered to Love, they explore how Scripture and theologians like Augustine and Aquinas teach that our loves must be rightly ordered, beginning with God and flowing outward to family, church, nation, and the nations.

Together they address current cultural tensions—nationalism, global instability, and missionary urgency—and ask how Christians should prioritize their responsibilities in a limited, embodied life. Alex and Scott clarify that grace does not destroy nature but restores it—meaning allegiance to Christ rightly orders, rather than erases, our natural relationships.

Key Topics:

  • What the ordo amoris is and why it matters to missions
  • Family, church, nation, and global mission in proper relationship
  • Missionary guilt vs. faithful obedience
  • Grace restoring (not erasing) natural relationships

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Alex Kocman & Scott Dunford

Alex Kocman is the Director of Communications and Engagement for ABWE. He serves as general editor for Message Magazine and co-hosts The Missions Show. After earning his M.A. in Communication and B.S. in Biblical Studies, he served as an online apologetics instructor with Liberty University and a youth pastor in Pennsylvania, where he now resides with his wife and five children. Read his blog or follow him on X.

Scott Dunford is the pastor of Western Hills Church in San Mateo, Calif. Previously, Scott served as Vice President of Mobilization and Communications for ABWE and as a missionary in East Asia. Scott graduated from Northland International University (B.A. in Pastoral Studies), earned his M.A. in biblical studies from Central Baptist Theological Seminary, his M.B.A. from Cornerstone University, and is currently enrolled in Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary’s D.Min. program with an emphasis on missions.